fuckin A Listening:Killswitch Engage- The End of Heartache ...and just to make it perfectly clear to everyone- I fucking HATE windows media player. Suckass crap. Now on to what you all really are wondering about, "What is Sarah up too, hmm??"
As you all have read or not, Ive been pretty depressed and drinking myself into oblivion for the past few days has been quite exciting. Especially in the morning when I wake up with a POUNDING headache and feel like puking. Ahh, glorious drunken-ness!
Than I made my way to my fave spot on the couch with my big kickass mug 'o drinkage. We snuggled on the couch, him holding my hand tightly and close to his body. I would glance over at him every now and than the light from the TV creating a glow on his face, tracing the outline in my mind. I would wonder what he was thinking and than I would feel bad for being such a horrible, spiteful gf cause I know he thinks the world of me and loves me so very much. *le sigh* I didnt have the heart to tell him Im contemplating leaving if things dont change. Thing is, I dont want to leave him. Thats the last thing I ever want to do. I do need to tell him whats on my mind, get it out in the open and go from there. Im a pussy though, so I'll prolly write it in a note and give it to him.... like when hes on his way to work so Im totally not around when he reads it. I know, I know... Im a big pussy.
The weekend sucked. Saturday, he asked me if I wanted to go out (he wanted too) and I was like nope. Than he said Im gonna play my game and I said go ahead and he was shocked. Normally, I wouldve smacked his hand away from the disc. We didnt even say much and thats where the whole TV show thing comes in but you read about that.
In the end, Sunday we ended up going to Walmart and bought some groceries, along with Kroegers. We bought all sorts of different fruits. Experiment time. We went to Casa Fiesta (a mex restaurant) and had a tasty dinner.
I dont know... maybe when he comes home tonight I'll reveal my issues and stuff. I cant continue drowning my sorrows away in a bottle of Jack-- although it has been pretty niiiice. Talk about making me horny though. Good lord. It was all I could do to not attack the boy as we slept all snuggled together. I remember waking up once, my arm wrapped around him, my hand on various parts of his chest and stomach, feeling how warm he was, waching him breathe, feeling the hair on his chest.... kissing his chest and arm. Ive got to make things right. I cant be without him. He completes me in so many ways. I definetly know I want to grow old with him by my side. In other news, when I awoke from drunken stupor #1 on Monday at 745a, I was like, Fuuuuuuuck! School. I dragged my ass out of bed 15 mins lates and got ready and was out the door. Ended up having lunch with Jamie and Erin at Wendys where we stumbled upon more CCMS students grabbing a quick bite. Got back to school and killed more time playing UNO. I lost. I think we should all play poker, tis a helluva lot more fun. Robert had some VHS tapes with him and Erin asked him if they were sex tapes. Ive never seen 'ol Rev. Rob get so red, hehehehe. And it was so fucking funny because he was like, "listen here, heathen (Erin's an atheist) when you die Im gonna make sure you have about 14 trocar buttons in you". We were all hysterical laughing with red faces. Good times, indeed. Ive still got my headache and Ive still got my Jack. I think we'll be hanging out again tonight. I also think Ive rambled on enough tonight. If it makes sense Im impressed. Earlier I couldnt even type one word correctly. Im off to play Unreal Tournament now. Cya. |