wow. an update It's been a few days, I know. I havent really had a lot to say or much on my mind. Some days Ive been slightly depressed, especially on the 19th. I guess what was so depressing is, it was her birthday and I was here in KY instead of in NE celebrating with her. Its hard being a parent from afar. I feel like Im missing out on so much... even down to the simple parent-teacher conferences. I feel like Ive made so many sacrifices to be here in KY.... and leaving my daughter in NE was the hardest one for me.
The boy and I had some drinks last night, we were both pretty tipsy and managed to somehow get more stuff. He decided he wanted to go play his game when we were supposed to be watching a movie together. He said I only want to play for 30 mins and I was like no because I know that the 30 mins will turn into 2 hrs if not more. What does he say back to me? He tells me, "Do you enjoy making my life miserable?" I just wish he wasnt so damned oblivious to things Ive done. I mean hes not a parent yet but he doesnt know how difficult it is to be without your child.... I hope he never has to find out because its not cool. I know he sees my depression due to that fact alone and seriously, I wish I was still in school. I feel stuck once again. In other news.... I ordered some curtains and blinds for the new place. Just in our room and in Summer's room. I ordered her some real pretty ones that she saw. Im excited to put them up. This weekend the boy and I will be moving some stuff into our storage unit-- right now its all piled up in Summer's room. I really should be putting an end to this worthless entry so I can go order my baby, Desi (veiled chameleon) and Spekko and Mephesto (my leopard geckos) some criket snacks! :) Have a good weekend. ♥ |