cant it ever go my way?
@ 9:24 am on 26 March 2005
Getting bad news sucks. Does nothing ever go right for me?
The boy called in yesterday so we could get the lease signed-- that finally happened last night around 10pm. But its all taken care of and now we get to move. Yay!
After we signed the lease and Jennifer had left our apartment we checked everything out again and tore through the place, running and being stupid, putting ourselves in the closet, kissing... you know cool fun stuff you always do in a new place, heh.
Right now were trying to find someone to help us move our big stuff. Big stuff sucks!
The loan I thought I could get with the help of my dad was a no go. Why? Because you have to be 24 or younger. Damn. Isnt that like, age discrimination or something? Hmpf! Dammit I need book monies!
So amidst my book crisis, dad calls saying he'll see if he can get a loan for me from his credit union. I hope so. I did tell him he didnt have to do that for me but he told me he did and should. I said why and he told me because he nor mom have ever once tried to help me. Its always my brothers but never me for anything. I had asked for their help before but after hearing NO a few hundred times and in general how Im treated I just figured I would quit wasting my time asking. Im glad dads decided to help me out-- finally.
Even if he doesnt get the loan, well at least he took the initiative and tried. I can be happy with that.
I got my blood test done yesterday, you know, for the pregnancy test. The boy and everyone have been so great and so positive. I wish I couldve been the same.
Thats right, it came back negative. I just found out. I havent even told the boy yet-- hes gonna be SO devastated. :( :( :(
I did ask him yesterday when we were talking about things like 'what-ifs' and I told him if were trying to get pregnant than Id like to continue trying, for a negative not to set us back any. I really wanna be pregnant with his baby. For now, I guess after Im done with my cycle--- another cruel twist my body pulled-- shortly after I get the results *it* begins. Bastard body. Im seriously pissed at my body and if I could chuck me out the window, I would. Heh.
Anyway, like I was saying after the whole AF thing, back to baby making, lol. I hope the boy meant what he said yesterday about it. I mean you know those words were in hopes of me being positive and no negative. Cruel world.
Im still pretty mixed about it actually. I wont lie when I say Im hurting some. A negative result was not what I had in mind.... cant anything ever work out for me? Ever? I mean just one time?? *sigh*
Anyways, I dont wanna talk about it anymore right now. Were moving our shit out today and into the new place. That will suck ass and not be fun at all. I may not be online for a day or so while things are being transferred. Tis all I have to report.
Happy Easter. ♥
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