10 wishes
@ 10:46 pm on 29 August 2004
Ive been doing some thinking since Ive been away from the boy. Serious thinking. Still, I have yet to find the answers Im so desperately looking for. :/
I havent felt like updating, not for lack of what to say but because in ways Im disappointed in myself... from basic everyday things I control to the things that I cannot.
Ive also been doing some thinking about something Rog asked me. He asked, "If you could have 10 wishes in life what would they be?"
Honestly, anytime before it wouldve without hesitation included bringing my Grandma back so she could always be with me. Now, alittle older and perhaps abit wiser I know thats not a feasible nor realistic wish.... than again who says a wish has to be any of those things? They dont. But Im realizing for me, my wishes need to be ones that do have the potential to actually be....
So, here are My 10 Wishes:
1. To be completely open and honest with Anthony
(I am honest with him but when it comes to being 100% open with my feelings, fears, thoughts, etc... I keep it mostly to myself or write it in here. Sometimes despite the fact that I consider him one of my bestfriends I still dont feel like hes interested in listening to my many bitchings. And sometimes Im afraid what I say may hurt his feelings. Awful catch 22 to be in.)
2. To have a better, closer relationship with Anthony
(This goes hand in hand with #1. Right now I feel our relationship sucks on many different levels. Its not at its worst but its far from being its best. We *really* need to communicate more, spend time together and hmm, be more affectionate. Like a gf/bf should be. I think both of us *really* need to work on this one.)
3. To stick school out and get my Associates
(I think thats pretty self-explanatory. Ive got a knack for starting school and ditching it acpl months later. Ive never been able to stick *anything* out. I really need Anthonys support and him kicking my ass to stay motivated to finish.)
4. Have my own funeral home
(I think about this *alot*. I have a name already picked out and decoration ideas, etc that I would implement.)
5. Own a nice house with my future husband
(Nothing extremely fancy cause Im not the materialistic type... but something spacious with acpl acres would be really nice.. and a pool. Id love to have a pool!)
6. Make the house a home with children
(I dont think man & wife signify family or home. Kids do that. Kids complete it and really make life worth living.)
7. To have 3-4 kids
(I am of course including Sum in that number but Id like to have acouple more kids at some point.)
8. Be the best wife and mother I can possibly be
(I think thats pretty self-explanatory. I want to strive to be the best I can and not be shitty.)
9. Take better care of myself
(From simple things to weight loss.)
10. Live life to the fullest and be happy, never taking anything or anyone for granted
(Very self explanatory...)
Anyway, with that being said I think Im going to take a mini vay-k away from DLand to continue thinking... I'll read my faves and prolly make comments, heh. Hopefully, next week I'll be back home with the boy. I miss him so much, I can only hope he feels the same....
♥
Sarah
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