like a scared little gurl... Listening: Cooler Kids- Morning Star I think tonight I partially realized why Im nervous around Anthony. He was in the bathroom downstairs finishing up w/his shower, so I went upstairs to play with Mokah abit. Next thing I know, the water stops and hes drying himself off Id presume when I hear him yell out, "FUCK!".Acouple minutes go by and I yell down to him, "Whats wrong?" And he proceeds to tell me that he cant get one of his contacts in because his eyelid closes as hes about to stick it in. It resulted in him poking his eye several times with no success of having the contact in. Anyway, Im still upstairs and hes bitching and yelling. Swearing, tone in his voice rising and changing with him becoming more and more pissed. Even to the point of him saying he wanted to tear his eyes out of his head. (Heh, mmmkay that part made me laugh but shhhh! you didnt hear me say that and you sure as shit didnt see me laughing about those words cause that wouldve further pissed him off). Than he bitches about how hes gonna be late to work, how much time he wasted on the damn contacts, etc. I really didnt even know what to say to him except to calm down. I mean I know he was upset but seriously its just a contact. Why work yourself up and get so pissed at alittle lens? I guess some things I will just never understand- that being one of the many things. All the while all I could think about was how its my fault and that hes prolly really pissed at me about it and just yelling about the contact & his eye not cooperating. I guess I think too much, like heres exactly what ran through my mind:
Hes pissed because he cant get it in, hes bitching how much he hates contacts and yet he wouldnt need them if it wasnt for Mokah chewing up his glasses which technically is my fault because I let her get away with so much and she wouldnt have even done that if I would discipline her and it really wouldnt have been an issue had I not brought her in the first place. So, when hes doing all that yelling I take it like its at me 100% even though I know its not. It reminds me of things back in my childhood. Things not being good enough for mom, always room to complain even if it wasnt my fault. I just dont like being around when hes like that. If I couldve disappeared I wouldve.
The deal with the funeral home is pissing me off too. The bastards keep avoiding me. Shit just give me an answer so I can go on about my business. They were supposed to call me on Monday- that never happened. I expected as much. I decided Id wait acpl days, ya know give em the benefit of the doubt. Today I call. I get Jim on the phone and low and behold he has yet to talk to Greg about it because theyre suddenly swamped with so many passings. Bullshit. And than he wanted my number *again* because he was going to call Greg and talk it over with him asap and call me back immediately with an answer. Guess what I got? Alright, Ive worked up an appetite, so downstairs I goto raid the kitchen. Heh, the boy ate 4 chili dogs before he went to work. Damn hes got an appetite. And to think he was disappointed I didnt get the chili with beans, so he cant fart. Oh, the tragedy! :P
|