things are definetly looking up! Listening: Annie Lennox- Pavement Cracks Rmx
The other night I finally got the balls to ask Anthony about this whole calling me his roommate thing. I prolly wouldnt have even brought it up if he hadnt said it again to me.
"Dont you think its weird you call me your roommate? Cause I think its weird"
And than, the worst thing that can happen in any conversation when shit is bothering you. Silence. Dreaded silence. I actually contemplated if that shouldve been my que to exit the scene so to speak and go upstairs but I stayed on the couch where I was. He stayed outside alittle longer than normal, my only guess was he was thinking all sorts of things about everything I had just said. I realize 'everything' wasnt much at all but it was effective. He leaned back and I laid my head in his lap (awww!) I *so* love little things like that and he said to me, "I love you, Sarah.... I dont want you to think that I dont. I dont want you to think I dont appreciate you because I do" And than acouple seconds later he said to me, "You dont have anything to worry about Im not going anywhere" It made me feel 1000% better and for once reassured. Not assured that he was gonna stick around cause I know he wouldnt hurt me like that but assured and certain of his love. That the roommate title is just something he says because hes been in those kinds of situations, yet he does know it bothers me, so maybe he'll stop saying it from now on. Im glad I brought it up and like, Stace said I need to let him know right at the time that something bothers me instead of being scared to approach him because shes right, he is understanding and he does listen and if I let him know how it affects me than he wont do it again or at least make a valid attempt not too. Just as I expect him to approach me if I would say or do anything that hurt him. Things are getting better between us. I think the awkwardness is becoming less and less... although I was feeling abit awkward about crawling into bed lastnight with him already in there. Heh, I dont know why I get like that at times but damn do I get nervous around him at times. I swear I get nervous around him like Id be nervous around a crush. It can be cute in an Awww kind of way and annoying in a you stupid bitch, you have him, hes YOUR boyfriend why are you nervous kind of way.
The other day we went to Petsmart and we took Mokah with us. We looked at other dogs and cats because were in the 'I want another animal' mode or maybe its just me. One cat hissed and clawed at Mokah, the rest just looked at her and wondered. Meanwhile, Ms. Mokah just sat there like the good pit she is, wagging her tail, lapping up attention from all sorts of new people. Than as we were heading back to my car, Anthony was having a smoke before we left and he had Mokah. Well, wouldnt you know some other people had come out and their car was next to mine. The driver (middle aged chic) actually stayed far back from her door because there sat Mokah and she was scared Mokah would bite her because "you never know when they might just attack". Gah, did I mention how much I hate stupid fucking people???!!! Its like please go and fucking educate yourself about pits and truly see how they are. Dont be so quick to judge. And really, it makes you look stupid. And that my dears is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves.
Ive got Anthony educating people about pits now too. Even has co-workers interested in adopting pits in need of good homes. Im so proud of him! :)
See, we hadnt been together long (maybe 3 months) before we were already looking for a pit together and we had found one... we even named him (Mr. Rueggers) before we knew we could have him, sadly he was adopted out. [EDIT- The pic of our baby, hopefully. Keep your fingers crossed!]
|