*cries* i just want to sleep
@ 11:47 am on 06 July 2004
Listening: Crime Mobb- Knuck If You Buck
An entry where I rant. 0o0o0, my fave kind. Eh, -k- so it goes alil something like this....
I had a voicemail on my cell from my mom so I give her a call back and thats when I shouldve known the rest of my night would be shit. She started bitching about when I was going to get Sum her school clothes, how I was gonna get everything from Sum's room down here back to NE and to me, the most important one~ something we all (mom, dad and me) had decided on before I even left to KY-- what school in NE she would attend in the Fall.
Sum's only been to one elementary school in NE and I wouldve loved to have been able to keep her there, in the end I had to switch her for the convience of my parents (they'll be taking care of her).... I found a school that I think would be a great learning experience and so shes all set to go there and she'd be bussed from my folks house to the school. My folks make it sound like its across town or super far away but its only about 30 mins from them.
So, anyway mom tells me lastnight that I need to switch her to the school thats right up the street from them and that one of the teachers from that school just happened to mention to mom that its rated #1 in the area. Uh huh. Somehow it sounds too damn convienant for me to believe. I told mom if its rated #1 than surely theres some info on the school boards website about it. She didnt say much after that.
I talked to dad, thinking maybe he would back me up but all he said was the same shit mom was saying how it would be most convienant for them if something should happen and she misses the bus that they only need to run up the street vs. driving 30 mins out of their way. It all comes down to them being lazy fuckers. Im beyond pissed because when I left to KY the school I had picked was fine and now its not.
I never signed any papers giving them any legal custody but I wouldnt be surprised if some shit went down. I know how they work. I actually was thinking I had gained some respect but Im thinking all that shit- helping out around here, giving us a gas grill as a housewarming gift was nothing more than a plot to make themselves look good for Anthony and for me to not suspect anything. Hmmm. I know I prolly sound damn paranoid but I know how they work and you got to be damn careful.
Mom was more upset about 'her baby' (Sum) being here than me. I just dont get her. *shrugs*
And since lastnight was already on a roll to be sucky it continued when I finally was tired enough to actually fall asleep and Anthony was up in the room playing one of his PC games. Not that thats a bad thing but shoot I was beyond tired and just wanted to crash. Unfortunetly for me I cant fall asleep despite how tired I am when theres noise or light around my sleeping area.
Anyway, he spent most the day playing his PC games so when I wanted to sleep around 530a he went continued on playing his game. I asked if he planned on turning it off, hoping he would but knowing he wouldnt... said he would in afew minutes. Afew minutes came and went. He mentioned taking acpl Tylenol PMs to help him fall asleep and that they'd kick in, in about 30 mins time. I thought about it for afew mins and said to him something along the lines of him basically continuing to play his game until the meds started to take affect and he laughed. Hmmm. Yup, cant say I was too thrilled there.
He said that hes used to being on and doing stuff at that time cause of his work schedule... but like I said that doesnt mean I should have to keep his hours for myself. I told him Id just start sleeping on the couch downstairs or in Sums room when she goes back to NE and he was all like, 'no'.
He suggested blocking off that part of the room with a blanket or sheet or something but no.. that would just be retarded. So I 'tried' laying down in there cause he had the sound off but still couldnt with the tapping of keys and the light illuminating off. Finally, I decided to myself SCREW IT I'll just go downstairs where I can fall asleep because by than I was tired and getting pissed. As soon as I get up and let him know Im going downstairs to sleep, he tells me hes turning it off cause hes tired anyway. I was like, 'well Im going downstairs anyway'. As I was getting myself situated on the couch he came down the steps telling me to come up and sleep cause the game was turned off but by than I didnt even care and had no intentions of going back into the room.
We didnt argue or anything about it. Just him wanting me to come upstairs and me being defiant. After he saw I wasnt budging, he asked if I was mad at him. I wasnt super mad but yeah I was mad just because it seemed so disrespectful to me. He told me he was going to bed and gave me a kiss, told me he loved me and went upstairs to sleep.
Now, heres the thing. I understand hes a 3rd shift worker and I know his sleep/awake schedule is *alot* different than mine but, HELLO I used to work 3rd shift too. So I know how it goes. I know how your days are actually your nights and vice versa but damn I shouldnt have to conform to your schedule because it'd be better for you. When he works and comes home in the morning I make sure Im quiet, I take Mokah out of the room and keep the bedroom door shut cause I know hes tired, cause I know he needs his sleep and cause I know how sometimes ya feel like shit on that schedule and sometimes all the sleep in the world still isnt even enough. Im respectful. But it sure doesnt seem like he cares if I get to sleep or not. The night before he let me sleep and god it was nice.... guess Im crazy to think it could happen again. I know its not all his fault, well maybe it is, heh... but I wish he'd take MY sleeping needs into consideration. I sure hope when Im working and have class that its not like this or Im gonna be miserable with a capital 'M'.
We are a couple, we do share the room, I should count but I sure dont feel like I do. :/
I think I finally fell asleep around 7a this morning and was up around 1030a. Im tired, so very tired and Ive got so much I need to get done today cause the past 4 days hes been off Ive been slacking and I hate it. So, I'll be cleaning up the apt cause it looks like hell. I need to do laundry too cause Im bout out of panty-wears (heh, tis what Sum called 'em when she was lil). I need to do alil grocery shopping too. Did I mention how being domesticated SUCKS ASS??
Anyway, this rant caused me a headache, so I think Im done. Must get a bra, shirt, shoes on and be productive. Have a good one guys & gals :D
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