im such a whiny bitch I spent sometime earlier this morning looking back through some of my entries I wrote from April '03 to Oct '03. My writing style has changed and Im not sure if I like the way its heading. Granted this diary isnt even as interesting as it once upon a time was... For now, this will have to do. I spent the day watching NASCAR. Jr didnt do so hot but at least he got himself a top 10. He's closing the gap on the points lead too. I believe 21 behind Kenseth. Im not sure I care how they (media) is making Jr & Kenseth to be such huge rivals... they are afterall pretty close friends. Stupid media. They just want some excitement since NASCAR has taken most the fun out of the races with more stupid rules.
I was feeling abit down from peoples comments and even Anthony. These 12 hour shifts suck balls. We never get to talk and dammit Im sorry call me selfish but I need some interaction. Its driving me crazy. The more I dwell on it the more I think things will be exactly as they are now. He'll spend most his time sleeping/working/school and I'll be doing the same on a different schedule. We'll be like my mom and dad are with their conflicting schedules. We'll see each other long enough to eat something and back to our thing. I dont want to be like that. I IM'd him today and asked him about it since its bothering me so much. I dunno maybe Im just being a freak and worrying for no reason. Ugh. I hate being like this. I hate being insecure. Lately, it seems like thats all Ive been able to do. :(
Ive been looking for places for us to move into since hes been working. My work is all online so Ive got plenty of time. Anyways, time for me to quit ranting. I hope Rog gets this job today. Hes supposed to call them around 9am to see if he nailed it. Im praying for him because he really needs this so he can get himself something before I leave. |