dreams pt. deux
@ 3:28 pm on 19 January 04
Oops, I got sidetracked and never got around to writing about the last dream I had from yesterdays entry. I had another dream but I dont remember *anything* from that one.
My last one had me, Summer, Rog and Judy (aunt) in it and we were leaving the hotel because we were getting ready to go to the amusement park (Worlds Of Fun-- in Missouri). Now, right off part of the weird thing is our hotel was in Kansas and here we were going to W.O.F., which in the dream seemed to be just a hop, skip and jump away from our hotel in KS. (Dreams, lol).
Anyways, from the hotel parking lot is a skylift (even at amusement parks these things scare the hell out of me, Ive never liked them) and we all eagerly jump on because its going to take us over to the park.
Rog and Summer get in the first lift, Judy and I in the one directly behind them. We are all laughing and joking around. But, since these things scare the hell out of me my arms and fingers are clenched tightly holding onto the bar over my lap. Im more panicky and scared Im going to fall to my demise than having a good time.
After about 15 minutes of bullshitting around on the skylift we realize that were not heading towards the park at all but more on a scenic 'tour' of KS, needless to say everyone including us on the lift are confused and wonder whats going on....
Within seconds the weather that had been sunny, warm and a light breeze turned cold and awkwardly calm. The sky having the ever so famous eerie yellow tint to it. It had the feel of a tornado. (I really cant explain that but if you live around or are familiar with tornados than you know what Im talking about).
I remember shouting at the top of my lungs that it felt tornadic because its becoming more windy and leaves are swirling around us but were still heading somewhere across the KS plains. Next thing we know were going through some small, rundown town. Below the houses are small, worn down and so old looking. Some of the backyards have the old clothes lines and you see clothes flapping rapidly back and forth. In another yard a older woman is hanging her wet clothing on her line too. Her gray hair going in all directions from the uncontrollable wind yet on the lift its sturdy and unaffected from the wind. We are all so busy watching this woman hanging up linens....
Someone from another lift shouts, "LOOK!" while pointing straight ahead. And there it is. A tornado.
Everyone is panicking now and several people have in fear jumped off and plunged to their death. You can hear their screams, so loud at first and than the wind silences them. You see their twisted, crumpled bodies below. The lift seems like its leading us right into the tornado, all of a sudden the ground doesnt seem so far away, like you could jump and survive. In a flash Rog and Summer jump out and start running away from the faster approaching tornado. Judy and I remained seated. We werent really scared more in awe I guess. The tornado is right in front of us and we decide to jump, our arms are locked together and we too take the plunge. The wind from the tornado is blowing us closer into its chaos, we fight back and struggle to gain some ground against the twirling blackened beast. We hold onto a tree when we see Rog and Summer making their way back towards us. Rog yells for us to grab onto him, you see a chain of people had been formed and they pull us away just as the tornado tries to snatch us up.
We all take off running into some tattered shack bracing ourselves for whats yet to come....
a TV is plugged in and sitting there so my aunt turns it on. She wants to see whats happening via the weather channel and thats when I wake up.....
to the sound of my aunt being here at the house and turning on the TV to the weather channel to see what the weather is going to be like. Strange, indeed.
Otherwise in life I have not much to report or say. My relationship seems to be on the rocks. Or maybe it just feels that way. I feel so, so insecure about myself these days. This past week, really. Ive spent countless nights crying myself to sleep and really I dont know the cause of it other than just feeling like Im losing Anthony~ but Im not sure why I feel like that either. It sucks.
He refuses to read my diary now cause I guess I had said some things about him during one of our fights and he felt hurt by it. That. And because he said he shouldnt invade my personal, private thoughts because sometimes when he would read this he would take things the wrong way. So, all in all maybe it is best he doesnt read anymore.
But, I havent even heard from him it seems in so, so long. We were perfect in Nov., and now its such a struggle. Ahh well, this is how my life usually goes in the love dept. I shouldnt act so suprised.
Today is our 5 months. Should be happy but Im not.
God, I miss him so much. :(
Jacky is finally doing better with his ordeal with Danielle. Damn that was just straight messed up. They had planned a life together, to get married and than BOOM! she tells him shes a lesbian and cant marry him. WTF is that *all* about? Ugh, what is with people? Fucked up chic. Sounded like she needed some counseling to me. Heh. Anyways, yes I was the nice supportive friend that I always am with the occasional cheap shot at her to make him laugh. Ahhh. :D
Ive been talking to Jason more since hes on quite abit, does get booted from chatrooms alot though, heh. Guess he should check into a anti-boot prog. I guess for his birthday (8 MAR) he wants to have this H U G E party and invite TONS o'people. He was mentioning how we should celebrate mine too since my birthday is on (6 MAR). A dual party. Hmm, could be fun. :)
Anyways, its about 5p and Ive got a hungry tummy to feed. Ciao.
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