jack wants you
@ 2:49 pm on 11 December 03
Listening: Lita Ford - Lita CD
The stress is taking its toll on me and the boy. Between him working so much (not by choice) and me having to deal with many things like: being sick for over a month with no end in sight, a somewhat sore back, coming back home from 2wks away to lies and nonstop fighting with my daughters father, who yes happens to be my roommate has been no stroll in the park.
The fights have been constant and in your face spitting on one another at points. Its.. crazy. Like Anthony says its unhealthy... and it is. I know Summer is suffering she doesnt have to say or do anything for me to know that. I try to make sure she is not around when these battles take place. Majority of the time shes been in school. And I know Im suffering.
That is very apparent. Im irritable most the times even when Im not trying to be, sleep deprived as well. When Im lucky enough to sleep its only 2-3 hrs and its a fucked schedule to boot. In ways I do feel myself slipping into a different state of mind. Depression. I just need to get myself out of this situation. Id be fine otherwise.
And I know between everything said above it affects me and Anthony.. and that sucks. Ive been on the phone talking to him before and Rog comes in to start a fight... and that sucks. Sucks isnt even the word to describe it but Im being lazy at the moment. Heh.
Rog and I did talk about all the fighting and he knows hes pretty much locked in here until 9 Jan. Regardless if he could have the money to go, today was the deadline for the cheap 70$ ticket and he wants to be around here for Summer to spend Christmas.
So, knowing all that. He needs to chill and so far he has. Good thing. Knowing that maybe shit will settle down. Heres to hoping.
A sex game Joker was telling me he came up with sounds like alot of fun. Will have to see if the boy is game for this version of war. *evil grin*
Mmm, sex. I sure could use some. Mmmkay, thats a lie. I could use alot. Lets face it if I could have sex all the time and always have it mixed up with very rough painful sex and throw the occassional nice stuff in there... do we know how happy Sarah would be? You got it! Happy.
Alot of what I like is off limits to many anyways. I wish I knew why and do they know how much fun theyre missing out on? There is no greater feeling.
And no Im not talking about these people whose ideas of rough sex equal being tied up and taken advantage of. Im talking extremes. Picture the worst possible thing that could be done sexually to you. Mmmkay, now whatever youve thought up is more than likely nowhere close to what I would be willing to do and have done. ;)
Eh, I need to stop thinking of sex. Tis getting me nowhere cept some good one on one time with myself. Which reminds me. Jacky is getting me my kickass toy! w00t! w00t!
I am gonna have so much fun with that. You just dont know. Hell, maybe I'll take pics and show me in action. Stranger shit has happened when Im involved. lol
Mmmkay anyways Im thinking about sending out Christmas cards but it depends if I find cool enough cards cause Im picky like that. Ive been on A Nightmare Before Christmas obsession lately. Anything with Jack Skellington really. I was thinking Nightmare Before Christmas Cards because its cool and a nice twist coming from me. Heh. I think I want the bed set of it cause that would be neato and so would a NBC bathroom. Jack everywhere! Yipppeeee!
Anyways. Im a retard. So, Im out.
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