the truths of life....
@ 1:19 am on 28 October 03
Listening: Limp Bizkit- Creamer (Radio Is Dead)
I have so many weird feelings going on that I dont even know where to begin. This weekend has been good but trying.
I got to talk to Anthony alot. Basically, Friday night until Monday afternoon. DAMN! Thats alot of yapping. Know what? I dont ever get tired of it.
Oh, and yes there were several breaks in between this 3 day marathon. Hmm, I like the way that sounds. Niiiice.
We covered tons of stuff as always. Sex, deers fucking, supafly man and childrens names stick out the most. Hmm Hmmm Hmmmm that sounds like interesting stuff, yes? ;)
There are definetly varying tastes in names for boys and girls....but I loved talking to Anthony about it. It makes me think of our future together and how wonderful it will all be.....
I love hearing the excitement in his voice when he mentions everything he would do for his kids. And the journal Anthony would keep holding every last thought he had to give to his child when they were older.... something for them to look back on and see how proud, excited, nervous he was of his lil ones life. Its really beautiful.
Im so in love with you. You are perfection. *kiss*
Rog has been going through some tough times lately. Im helping the best way a friend can... but it isnt enough. I spoke to my gurl about it and she confirmed what I thought. We are trying to convince him to go down to TX and let her help him.... thats what he needs. And she can give it to him. I know part of his issues are dealing with not being able to use me as a support system, i.e., someone to fall back on when times are rough.
Hes got to break away from me and do his own thing. Its time for him to come to the realization that we have seperate lives..... Im happier than Ive ever been and Im going forward to make it with Anthony.
Rog needs to move on and take care of Rog and than if hes cool with himself and his past, find someone as well. He is a good guy despite my many Rog bashings in this damn thing. I just get frusterated with his lack of thinking things through and hasty decisions.
I hope he decides to take my gurl up on her offer... he said he would have a decision on Monday. It would do him wonders and give him a fresh start on life.
Remember how I mentioned I emailed Tony? I heard back from him via email and we emailed each other back. It was very awkward but I eventually told him to hop on IM.... and he did. We've been talking since the other night. Not long, maybe 20mins tops-- I guess just feeling each other out. Seeing what is -k- to say, what is off limits. Its not like were in the "get to know you" stages again... but, well you know how it is after a fight and you havent spoke in a long while and when you do your happy but you tread lightly? Yeah, thats where we are.
Its nice to talk to him again. :)
A longtime friend, Chris mentioned to me the other night that he loved me. Hmm. Its very flattering but I wish he hadnt cause the feelings arent returned. I care about him as a friend but nothing more.
My gurl said when your taken all of a sudden everyone takes notice of you and seemingly wants you~ whatever their intentions may be, who knows.... but when your single all these people wouldnt waste their time on you. So, so true.
The 26th was my brothers, Val and Seth's birthdays. Val is 31 and Seth, 23. Damn, Val is an old man. lol
I just called them. I didnt get them anything and I didnt go over to their house. Im a shitty sister but truth be known... I dont care. We rarely speak unless a birthday or holiday comes up.
Sometimes there is nothing I wish for more in life than to have a family that cares. And does family-ish things. God, Ive never known that and doubt I ever will but its nice to dream. Im so envious of people who have that and either take it for granted or dont appreciate it and think its a nuisance. My family is quite dysfunctional. Any little get togethers we had died when my grandma passed. *Sigh*
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