in a darkened room.... *Takes a deep breath....* something is bothering me. And I mean really fucking bothering me but I dont even know what that 'something' is...
My friend popped in and just sat here. I shouldve just told her to leave cause I wanted to talk to Anthony on the tele but I didnt. Didnt say a damn thing to her. Im sure he felt like I was brushing him off- like his call wasnt important to me, but it is/was. Maybe I made him think he wasnt worth it by not telling her to step... I look forward to hearing from him in any form I can get but I shouldve let that call happen. I have my online businesses coming together, a great daughter, awesome friends and a bf who is beyond great. Maybe Im afraid Im gonna do something to fuck it up. I know that shouldnt even bother me but right now it does cause it sorta makes me feel insecure. I know when I wake up later it wont even be an issue, so why I mention it here? I have no idea. I wont say what I truly feel cause I dont want to fuck the relationship up. It isnt bad at all though despite the way I made it sound. Maybe thats what is bothering me, you think? Me either. I, I *grrr* cant say it. The darkened soul disappears but the hurt still lives on... |