alittle bit of everything from yours truly This will be many varied thoughts covering quite abit, so readers prepare for a lengthy entry. I really wish I knew which topic Id like to focus on first because afew are very important to me. I guess first and foremost though, it should be to my gurl in her time of need. And so here goes:
I appreciate what you said in your diary in regards to GOD will judge me. Thats true. Hopefully I havent been so evil as to not get inside Heaven.
I know right now times for you are tough with all that is being dealt your way. From your entries alot of turmoil and questions remain unanswered. I wish I could help but I know this is something you can only do. And your strong gurl... if there is anyone who can do it and come out fighting its you. Anthony, dear dear Anthony. I feel *so* bad for leaving you hanging so to speak. I know I explained myself on ICQ (which you'll get in the AM) but it still makes me feel bad. I dont want to mess up what we have. I cherish it more than you can imagine. Please know that Im sorry. And that I, hmm, well I cant say it. But I care about you very much.
I was watching TV tonight (a rareity for me). My shows usually consist of something to the likes of The Learning Channel, Discovery Channel and Discovery Health Channel. Anyways, on the one show it had these 2 little twin girls who both had sickle cell anemia. Oh, it was so heartbreaking. I hate seeing innocent little kids in so much pain... I often find myself wondering why GOD has allowed it? What does this family and this child have to learn from it? What is HIS mission for them?? It sure makes me wonder. This little girl had already had stroke and a artery in her brain was collapsing so they had to re-route it from a vessel on the top of her skull. She had already been getting blood transfusions to deliver good red blood cells. You know I can remember my feelings and emotions I had to deal with when Sum had surgery on her eyes. Especially knowing the risks. I guess its tough to be a parent and make these life altering changes in hopes of making your childs life better. Normal. My daughter has been through alot too, so I have respect for her even if she is alil monster at times lol
My tummy is feeling abit better now. I doubt tea and reeses peanut butter cups will help but they taste so yummy!! And I forced myself to eat dinner. I couldve done without, seriously. Earlier everything I ate, drank, sipped etc just made the tummy hurt SO MUCH MORE that anything that would end up down there I decided was evil, pure evil. Alrighty, the boy is home from work, which is unsual...so I shall see whats up. Sweet dreams my loves... |