going insane! Im going insane in this house. But the thing is its not just this house. Its my life and all the crap currently going on and me feeling like Im going to snap under the pressure any moment.
Everything was going well for me up until about a week ago than all the bullshit began. I somehow managed to get myself into some trouble (how these things happen to me is beyond me) and it looks like I could possibly be facing jail time if it goes to a jury.
Of course all the while Im dealing with this, the boy constantly is at me to help him with his homework. Now normally I dont mind but hes getting to the point where I dont know what it is because hes surpassing me in that particular area.
Than..... I have Summer constantly talking to me about her day at school. Word for word detail. Entirely too much detail. Its not only annoying its too much for my brain to handle. I seriously dont give a shit about the word for word dialogue in every event that happened at school that particular day.
Ive got Triston all day long with him being irritable from being tired, cutting teeth or just mad at the world. He every now and than wakes up in a good mood that lasts the entire day but those days are few and far between. In between all above mentioned crap (and yes, this is on a day to day basis) I have dishes, laundry, picking up after Triston's messes, feeding and playing with him and getting dinner prepared.
When the boy gets ready for work at night, sadly my job isnt over yet because than Ive got to help him get his work clothes gathered up and his lunch ready because he doesnt have enough time to do it himself. Finally, the boy is gone for the night and the kids are in bed. Only than do I finally have a moment for myself and by than Im so exhausted I usually get about an hour, two tops before I crash for the night.
I cant continue on this way though because Im going crazy. Its affecting me in so many ways.
And to all the fucks who say that being a stay at home mom isnt a real job, a big: FUCK YOU. Plus, Im still trying to plan a wedding. Honestly given the above I dont know if I'll be in jail or not so I wonder if I should even waste my time continuing to plan. Robifiers says I should just go on doing what I would normally be doing and plan because all will be ok but.... who knows. I really hate my fucking life right now. I wouldnt wish it on my enemy cause it sucks that bad. :( |