goodbye past Listening: Foxy Brown- I'll Be Im sitting here finishing up my Jones drink. I love those Ive thought about sending in a pic or two... think they would use my photos? Eh, prolly not. My dad called me earlier asking me where online he could find Ty Pennington posters. In case yall dont know who he is, hes a carpenter on TLC's Trading Spaces show. This chic my dad knows at work is obsessed with this guy and he wants to get her something with his mugshot on it. He has tons of fan sites but no posters. :/
I mentioned to my mom today too that I told Sum theres no Easter Bunny or Santa Claus... mom told me I was a bad mother for telling her the truth and maybe I am alittle but in all honesty I dont want her to be naieve and gulliable because unfortunetly sometimes people like that get taken advantage of and thats not cool. And I didnt want her to be the only person to be entering 4th grade, be 9 yrs of age and "stick up" for these make believe characters and have fellow classmates single her out for that very reason. I cant recall me ever finding out through school... truth be known I dont know how I found out. My dad said I shouldve let her have her childhood instead of snatching it away. Geez, come on... were talking about the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. Id rather have Sum know the importance of why those holidays are celebrated.... bunnies, pastel colors and bunny-shaped candies are all good but theres a much more important reason, like Jesus' rising. Sum and I went through all her clothes to weed out what doesnt fit anymore and what looks like crap so we can get her more clothes. We mustve spent close to 3 hrs going through it all. Talk about tiring. Ive been slowly cleaning up and seeing absolutely what will go with me to KY and what must be tossed. My aunt (I know she means well) keeps offering me all these things to take but I just dont need all the unnecessary clutter esp. when I dont even know how much room we'll have to work with. Id like to take my china hutch with me but Im not sure abour it. Its not like I have anything of great importance in there~ just my Ty Beanie Baby Bears. Heh. Oooh and guess what I found while going through more of my stuff... two cards from Anthony (ex from Cali). These were the kind of cards that come along in floral arrangements. Yeah, Ive been holding onto them all this time (we were together in '99 and split mid '00). It was pretty weird to re-read them. I guess even now in some weird way it hurts because I figured he would be the one Id be making a life with... even his family and I were tight. So looking at the things he said to me just makes me, I dunno... not sure how to describe it. I guess what it is, is that he was my first true love. All the things he made me feel because I was so closed off emotionally to the world and to people and he opened me up, made me realize not everyone was out to hurt me. Also made me realize I didnt have to do alot of the things I was doing at the time. Even made me faitful. Cause I used to cheat like crazy..... he was the first I was devoted too. So, yeah I guess its finally closing that chapter in my life. I read the cards one last time and than burned them because that part of my life ceases to exist now and thats just how I want to keep it. I cant say I'll forget him though because he did help open me up and Im so very grateful for that. I wouldnt have MY Anthony now..... Anyways, as soon as I finish up here and send my doodlebug a msg off to bed I go because Ive got a somewhat busy day ahead of me. Sweet dreams, guys! Love Ya! |