i had a point?
@ 10:07 am on 19 September 03
Thank GOD for the nearest place to buy coffee (which happened to be suckass McDs) this morning otherwise I wouldve totally been asleep at the wheel. I had a late night convo with my cuz and we talked about everything. We always seem to get back on to the subject of past relationships and ex's. I think its cause we compare battle stories. Some have been pretty fucked up and others seriously would be a waste of time on both our parts cause they really that insignificant which makes me wonder why we wasted our time??
Ive been trying to get ahold of Nate for her which is damn near impossible. Not that I would plot something to happen but I wanna make it happen again for her and him. I know shes married and normally that would be a big huge fat no~no (w/me helping her) but she has Drews approval and blessing.... so I will do my best to help ignite the flame cause were familia and Id do anything for you.
Heh, ahh damn gurl do you remember all the stupid arguments we would get into?? Id be like NO YOUR MARRIED what do you think your doing by pursuing Nate?? I think I wouldve always had a problem with that until I realized what I would want for me and how I feel about marriage is totally different than what you and many others may feel is right....
All I know is for me. There is only one. One to call mine forever. Not sharing him w/others or vice versa. And it must last cause I dont see divorce as an option.....
I think that kinda love and commitment is hard for alot of people but Im a damn strong person and I know I can do it. I would have to be to have survived the life I was given. I believe that some people have it so much easier in life because they are weak to begin with. The strong have the struggle. GOD wouldnt give you what HE does if he didnt think you would make it. Keep that in mind when times are tough. : )
I really, truly do feel blessed because I have Anthony in my life. I feel like Ive struggled, Ive passed the tests thrown at me, Im overcoming the hurt more and more each day. Learning to forgive and move on. Becoming a better person and now Im being rewarded with beautiful gifts called love and happiness. I honestly think he was sent to me and thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for being my light. :)
I love you so very much, Anthony.
Oh, I cant wait til Im there in KY. Heh, I was told I cant say anything bad about UKs b-ball team. Mmmkay. Easy enough as long as I hear no Husker slandering lol cause dammit them are fighting words :D
GO BIG RED!!!
Speaking of Husker football we kicked Penn States ass last week, sure it wasnt by alot cause Lord likes to lose the ball instead of holding onto it or passing it but hey a win is a win. And it was a win over Penn St. Fucking assholes. lol I hate PA, I hate Penn St. and I hate their coach but its very amusing to see him throw fits on the sidelines, heh.
Anyways, I realize this was a very pointless entry and one with random thoughts at that but Im not thinking right Im dead tired and Mokah is chewing on my brush! Grr, damn dogs.
Time for yalls fave lil Blakkrayn to catch some sleep...
Sweetest of dreams.... xox
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