you always hurt the ones you love....
@ 2:59 pm on 16 August 03
Just a fucking worthless entry for ya to match my fucking worthless attitude right now. Im pretty sure this attitude came on shortly before I laid down this morning and caused in part by my dickhead of a roomie, Rog.
Things werent too bad until he bugged me to get on ICQ (Im imagining to see if he could catch dipshit online). Im not sure what pisses me off more though, the fact that hes more indecisive than I am, that I can see this bitch for what shes truly worth or a combination of the two. Really, when you get down to it I cant stand her for many various reasons. I think the #1 reason would be because shes married. Last time I checked being married meant you were faithful to the one you took the vows with.
But I forgot that shit doesnt mean anything to anyone anymore. When I confronted her about it before she said to me, "We'll I came close to divorcing my husband awhile back..... but than when we got to court he begged me back and I loved him, so we didnt follow through". Hmm, so you couldve had the divorce if thats what YOU really wanted but YOU made the choice to stay. How does cheating not apply to these rules? Blah.
I also hate her fucking guts because she abuses & neglects animals. She has her brothers AKC registered dog and since its soooo bad (chews on the carpet) it stays chained up in her kitchen. No one gives the dog the time of day except if they have to do inconviences like giving the dog food and water. The son thinks its a worthless dog, she just plain hates the dog and is considering selling it on her brother.
The brother only gave her the dog temporarily because he wants to find a house- but hes given her permission to toss the dog if she so desires. Hes another fucking winner. I swear, fucking idiots in IA.
So, anyways... instead of her say spending afew moments of her precious finger-in-the-mouth-tit-hanging-out-of-the-shirt-im-so-cool-not-skinny-not-fat-but-chubby-heee-huh-time to teach this dog some obediance it goes un-noticed. :(
Than it turns out the dog has had obediance training. So, that means the dog is chewing things for acouple reasons but mainly out of boredom and being lonely.
Now, dont get me wrong Ive got my own moments where I may neglect my animals. Maybe I forgot to feed them this morning, maybe I didnt clean the cage because I was lazy. Difference would be I do get around to it in the same day and I dont ignore them. I want them and its my responsibility to see that they have what they need to live, and comfortably at that....
And dont think Im some psycho holier-than-thou animal freak cause Im not. I dont belong to PETA, I dont do any protests etc lol... since joining animal rescues Ive seen the other side and trust me it isnt pretty. Its utterly disgusting.
To see these people 'claim' to love their animal, one who solely relies on you and gives you unconditional love no matter what you, the shithead owner does to them is sick.
Starved to death, left for dead, abused, fearful, used for bait, cut up, stabbed, beaten and GOD only knows what else... Ive seen it and its tragic.
I couldnt even enjoy myself at the circus when I last went because I was sad. I saw the Bears doing all these tricks and cool things for the audience. The trainer ate up the attention from the massive crowd. But he didnt get my attention. He got my sadness and disgust because I could only imagine what kind of horror these animals had to endure to learn something like riding a unicycle for a stupid humans amusement. :(
Eh, I realize I got off of my initial rant but I figured this counts too. Just as much as domestic animal abuse. And ya know I think those are pretty valid reasons to hate that chic Rog likes.
So, I sit here and contemplate would I being doing him a favor by causing chaos and undoubtedly fucking up his temporary happiness..... OR do I sit back and watch him have another chic screw him over? Oh, the choices. I suppose if the roles were reversed and I was madly in love with someone Id be damned if I would want someone to interfere and fuck up what I thought was blissful at the time when indeed it wasnt. Heh, fuck I think too much about these things but this must be done so I can weigh the pros & cons of a disaster (a good disaster lol) in the making.
So, Im devious. Who wouldve known. ;)
And in another unrelated note (and I promise it wont be long winded) I left the Yahoo Group my cuz made for us, well, our close-knit clan. I just wasnt feeling it anymore.
Hell, all of the people with the exception of myself and Dante (who already is MIA when the group is concerned) are all in TX. I just didnt feel like part of the group anymore, not important to anyone in there enough to stay with it. Hmm. And no one is on when I am anymore. :(
My cuz, Monica.. she has her life. Husband, 3 kids, supportive family and friends. We planned to take over the world lol but things change. She used to stay up late but now she goes to bed at night. So, the contact has been lost.
My other cuz, Sarah (Monica's sis) I rarely talk too. Its not that I dont love her its just afew yrs back she made me very uncomfortable and I havent felt the same towards her since. Sad.
She (Monica) sent me a msg on YIM asking why I was leaving the group, I explained it very briefly. I just dont belong anymore..... and that hurts.
Who said it best? I cant remember.
...you always hurt the ones you love.
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