its so hard to say goodbye...
@ 3:39 pm on 16 June 03
Today was Baby James' viewing.
I got myself ready, physically and mentally. Ive been to a mortuary for what seems to me hundreds of times and yet every time I go there for a service Im very nervous, unsure of what to say or do, act, etc.
This time wasnt any different. I got to the room and I was politely informed that there was no viewing or visiting. That they wanted family only. Understandable. I gave my respects anyways outside the room and walked out the doors.
Meranda was coming from her car, I gave her a big hug, held her for abit and let her know how very sorry I was for her loss.
We cried for what seemed an eternity into each others shoulders. In a weird way it was refreshing. A release.
She asked where I was going and let her know that I wasnt allowed because the family had made it for them only. I told her I understood. She said to me with a look on her face I'll never forget, "You belong in there Sarah, you ARE family. Im so grateful your here because I honestly dont know what Id do without you". We held each other and walked into the doors of the mortuary.
Inside the room was beautiful, floral arrangements adorning a beautiful casket. Baby James looked only as if he was napping, dressed up for a special occassion and waiting to go. Hmm, I suppose in a sense he was ready to go. Ready to go to a special place, which we know as HEAVEN.
We all cried, we all smiled and laughed as we each remembered him in our own special way.
We paused, cried some more and than we each went up to him and said our goodbyes.....
Goodbye Baby James, you will always be in my heart. Never forgotten, FOREVER missed.
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