fuckity fuck fuck fuck!!
@ 6:42 pm on 13 June 03
Yeah, so another update.
I just got really frusterated by Tony's comments, even if he was *only* joking. Last time I mentioned wanting to fuck him he's all like no you have a boyfriend. Ok, so I eventually drop it.
Now today Im hornier than EVER and really could use a RELEASE in a BIG way. Tony mentions I could come over and we could take care of this problem. Mmmm and you dont know how bad I want to do just that. Throw all caution into the wind for hours of pleasure with him. Tony doing all sorts of unimaginable things to my body and me to his.... I really want that to happen.
But I still have Brad. Nothing has changed with our situation. So, now when Tony wants me and I decline. Its a different story. Im not freaky enough, he knows I would never do something so bold as to arrive at his place and seduce him. Fuck the hell out of him. And hes right, I wouldnt. Not given my current situation. So, if he pushed me away the first time now why does he act so suprised that I deny him? Nothing changed from either situation. We want each other but I have Brad. Im not willing to lose Brad~ yet the only way I know how to stay faithful to him at the current time (because of my strong desires to be with Tony) is to stay away from Tony. Ugh, does that even make sense?!
Stay away from physical contact anyways. I just wish he understood. And than again, maybe he wouldve had I stayed on IM and explained it to him this way. But I was the one who shut down the chat because he made me angry. It really pissed me off that he assumes he knows me so well to make the assumption. And why I am I so pissed? Because he knows hes right? That I cant do anything because Im with Brad but here Ive got a chance to be with Tony.
Why must life be so complicated? Why cant I just be like I used to be and say who cares! I want action and Im going to get it and reap the wonderous awards from Tony?? Damn me to hell.
UPDATE:
If this made Tony sound evil, it wasnt intentional. lol.
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