a stroll down memory lane.
@ 12:55 am on 23 September 2008
Listening: Wumpscut- Black Death
I. Love. This. Song! I'm telling you, you cant go wrong with Wumpscut, plus its a damn cool name to say. Weeeee!!
I logged onto ICQ last night out of sheer boredom and I saw the green flower pop online to a name I will never forget, Morpheus. One of my ex's.
We met on ICQ waaaaaaay back in the day when I was just in my early 20s. We became best friends instantly since we spent every moment online talking to one another. After a year or damn close to it, we decided to exchange pics and shortly after that we became bf/gf. Fun times. He even had sent me roses. He traveled to Nebraska to be with me weeks at a time. I talked to his mom. At the time I seriously thought we would be married.
Alas, a reality check kicked me in my ass. When he was with me for a week and I realized this guy is really fucking annoying in person especially when youre stuck with him for a week.
Our relationship came to a close after a year of being together. And, even though I saw it coming it never prepared me to be apart from him. I took the split hard. I think I walked around depressed for a good year. Pretty fuckin' pathetic when I think about it now. Heh.
Anyway, after the split for a long while we acted like we were still together, flirting, be cute, etc. He had moved on though, the several woman after me were proof of that. I decided to stop talking to him altogether because stupidly I had tried to still be a friend thinking hearing of his fun with other chics wouldnt bother me.
After that, we seemed to avoid one another online like the plague. Not sure what to say to one another or too painful or sheer awkwardness kept us keeping a convo down to a courtesy "Hi" every once in awhile.
Only when I got together with my husband (than boyfriend) did he become interested in knowing more about him, sizing him up so to speak which was just plain dumb, but admittingly it was fun to see all of my ex's shortcomings and how off we really were.
I remember after I moved to Kentucky to be with my husband how I started wondering would I ever have closure from me and the ex's relationship. He broke down and gave me what I had needed for so many years after our split. Something I had always held onto, in some aspects keeping me from moving on...fully. Finally, my ex, Anthony told me what I needed to hear and after that night we never spoke again. And truthfully, Im glad.
I'm glad he didnt even message me. :)
Ahh... nothing like a walk down memory lane. It almost makes me want to go back and read some more of my older entries. I was doing that a few nights ago and I was laughing so hard. Hell, I completly captured me and my now husbands entire relationship on here. Through all the long distance we made it. Through all the shit after we finally met and lived together, we made it. I'm so glad I had this diary here for me. Its been a blast!
Hopefully, our married life entries wont suck. Heh. Anyways, I've rambled enough for one night. Time to jet. Cya!
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